Greater Love, Greater Relationships

The words of Jesus in John 15:13 are simple: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” While the message is clear and seemingly uncomplicated, the staggering reality is that obeying this truth requires great sacrifice.

While describing the ultimate form of love to His disciples, Jesus wasn’t just talking about a kind gesture, He was describing an intentional way of life. Living out sacrificial love is a purposeful lifestyle choice that permeates every relationship we steward, from our families to those we lead.

SACRIFICIAL LOVE

Jimmy White, Adult Discipleship director for the Assemblies of God, has seen how sacrificial love profoundly influences our relationship effectiveness. At its foundation, he says, sacrificial love builds trust. When parents, spouses, or ministry leaders choose presence over power – when they stay engaged and listen to understand – they demonstrate to others that they value them more than control.

“In both parenting and leadership,” White explains, “our influence grows when our children and the people we lead know that they are deeply valued and not managed.” When we love well in the present, it shapes who those we love become in the long run. This sacrificial love creates an environment where correction, when necessary, feels safe because it is grounded in commitment to that relationship.

Jesus mirrored this kind of love. Instead of leading from a distance or from a place of elevated authority, He walked closely with people, doing life with them while loving them well.

As a father, White says that he has learned that to cultivate this kind of love requires humility and continual self-examination that isn’t shaped by insecurity or fear. It becomes refreshing, he says, because we learn to love others under the example of Christ and see the lasting fruit of our love take shape in our relationships.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Nonda Houston, national director of AG Womens ministries, says that this is especially essential in marriage, though it is not always something that comes naturally or looks glamorous. She says that sacrificial love given without strings attached is rooted in the truths of 1 Corinthians 13.

“Our motivation determines our perspective. Sacrificial love isn’t about feelings, but about a decision to love like Jesus – it’s a choice to obey the Lord,” she says. “Love, in this sense, is far more than an emotion.”

In marriage, as well as in all of our relationships, Houston emphasizes that sacrificial love requires Christians to “die daily” to the flesh – something that requires far more than human effort alone. To die daily requires time in the Word, fellowship with Jesus, and supernatural strength and empowerment from the Holy Spirit, she says. “When I’m as tired as he (my husband) is and working as much as he is, investing in my marriage has to be a priority.”

This investment, she explains, looks like time spent together in prayer, in patient and slow responses, and in acts of service. Yet in every relationship in our lives, choosing to love in tangible ways is an example of laying down one’s life. While current culture is quick to label relationships as disposable, sacrificial love strengthens the commitment to long-term relationships that bring glory to God and unity to His Church.

“As I love and serve those around me, I am loving and serving the Lord,” she says. Even when disagreements occur or differing opinions are voiced, Houston shares that Christlike love is still possible – and something to which believers are called. “We can walk arm in arm with others without seeing eye to eye,” she says.

The sacrificial love believers show in and through their relationships is one of the most powerful ways that the world observes God’s love and transformative work in our lives. It is a living testimony of healing and hope amidst situations that are messy and bleak.

During this focused season of love and sentiment, may we as believers choose presence over power, obedience over emotion, and commitment over convenience. May we participate in the “greater love” that Jesus described, and may it reflect the true and ultimate source of love that flows from our Heavenly Father.